Saturday, August 28, 2010

Flashback--Cozumel 2010

Wyndam Resort in Cozumel
Ahhh, weddings.  Destination weddings.  In Cozumel.  How bad could that be?

In February, I was lucky enough to be able to attend my good friend Karin's wedding in Mexico.  I was excited, but had to get to the airport by 6 am for my flight.  I was also excited because on the way back I was going to pick up my new puppy Theo Ruffstable the 1st.  Now everybody knows the rule stating you should not hit on a person before 8 am, so I went to sit down to peacefully read my Puppies for Dummies book.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big, burly, furry figure striding towards me.  He sat down next to me, but I thought nothing of it.  I continued reading, but paused when the big bear asked me "Are you doing homework?"  Now, even though black don't crack, do you really think a high school girl would be in the airport at the but crack of dawn reading Puppies for Dummies?  Can high schoolers even read?  I thought all they did was "conversate."  As I go to respond to him, I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing.  He's about 250 pounds, and wearing an enormous fur coat, fur hat, Timberlands, and and Sean Jean glasses--with the sticker still on them.

So "Big Lite", as he called himself, began to talk about his dog.  I didn't care.  He then told me that he had radio show in MANHATTAN (because people from Brooklyn aren't classy enough to go there) and that I should come be on his show because he has CELEBRITIES on there.  Big names I'm sure, like the Naked Cowboy, William Hung, Billy Ocean, maybe even Dylan from Making Da Band.

As Big Lite is talking to me, I notice something--he is sweating.  Profusely.  And mopping himself up with a tissue that is barely holding up.  Time to take off the chinchilla homie.  Of course, he asked if I was taken, and of course, I told him yes, to which he replied "You never know what fate may bring..."  And that was the end of Big Lite's interaction with me.

If I were Big Lite, I would ask fate to bring my big ass a sweat rag and a pocket fan.

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